tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5680771968888528726.post5826523973674153202..comments2023-11-05T00:38:56.097-07:00Comments on 21st Century British Nationalism: UFO story chapter 2Defender of Libertyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16093052197059748663noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5680771968888528726.post-87916351531879588632008-12-31T05:43:00.000-08:002008-12-31T05:43:00.000-08:00As a an addendum to what I wrote above I would jus...As a an addendum to what I wrote above I would just like to raise an objection to a comment about.<BR/><BR/>I would stronly urge you not to try and publish this through Excalibur or any other partisan publisher, or have it associated with any political party. That would only serve to demonise you and your work and it would set you back for a long time. <BR/><BR/>In any case your work should not be exploited by a political party or personalities. It stands on its own and should be regarded as such.<BR/><BR/>Your work should be afforded the respect and recognition it deserves and that means through a respectable and mainstream publisher and agent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5680771968888528726.post-2715595312745629402008-12-31T05:40:00.000-08:002008-12-31T05:40:00.000-08:00This chapter too is very good Mr Barnes.There's li...This chapter too is very good Mr Barnes.<BR/><BR/>There's little of criticism concerning it.<BR/><BR/>Your research is very sound and good research is essential to a manuscript such as this as it gives a grounding and reality to it which would not necessarily be there. I took the liberty of checking the facts and they show that you have been very thorough (except for the misuse of the acronym, the SBS, which has been said before). The weapons and equipment of the SBS too come up as accurate, as does the detail concerning the Brent Field (though may be best to crosscheck that again since sometime in the 1990's gas took over from oil a sthe main resource being extracted and pumped from that field).<BR/><BR/>I really liked the dactive description of the sea-trip to the rig by the SBS soldiers which conveyed a good sens eof reality and almost poetry in the way it was decsribed eg "like a skittish pony), though it could be argued that a bit more attention to the time when the soldiers are trying to board the rig would pay dividends here, perhaps decsribing how the very choppy waters would make landing and boarding the rig very difficult and how the soldiers actually made it on to the structure, probably wet and the steps being wet and slimy with seaweed and stuff.<BR/><BR/>I liked the dewscription of the rig , and how it was "welded together by a drunk", looked like "lego" and even that the terrific decsription of it looking like the game Mousetrap! Brilliant.<BR/>Also, the description of the rig itself being covered in rust and seaweed was very cleverly constructed also.<BR/><BR/>I would strongly sugegst that you rely on the primacy of Imperial units, not metric ones (alythough you should use metric as a secondary and explanatory unit nect to it). As British Nationalists we should be preserving our indigenous Imperial units and not given primacy to foreign ones.<BR/><BR/>More dialogue in the bosy of the chapter would also give the story gravitas and heighten the tension and can be used to add an extra descriptive dimension also. It also helps to break up the narrative.<BR/><BR/>Overall, terrific work - one of the best fictional reads I have had for a while.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5680771968888528726.post-77780387500356411152008-12-28T16:58:00.000-08:002008-12-28T16:58:00.000-08:00I think that the mini essays you have featured wou...I think that the mini essays you have featured would make good reading in a book of short stories. <BR/><BR/>Have you considered putting such a book together? I suppose it could be peddled through Excalibur.<BR/>I would buy a copy.<BR/><BR/>Were they written by you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5680771968888528726.post-74889212133782914932008-12-28T16:57:00.000-08:002008-12-28T16:57:00.000-08:00I think that the mini essays you have featured wou...I think that the mini essays you have featured would make good reading in a book of short stories. <BR/><BR/>Have you considered putting such a book together? I suppose it could be peddled through Excalibur.<BR/>I would buy a copy.<BR/><BR/>Were they written by you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5680771968888528726.post-46978555984512961242008-12-27T07:20:00.000-08:002008-12-27T07:20:00.000-08:00A very detailed chapter, Lee, with a lot of good r...A very detailed chapter, Lee, with a lot of good research having gone into it. Where did you get all that stuff?<BR/><BR/>A few points:<BR/><BR/> - The SBS is the Special Boat Service, unless the name's been changed recently - or you are wanting to use a slight change of name for the purpose of the narrative. If so, a brief footnote might be useful to inform the reader.<BR/><BR/>- Some readers would follow the vivid description with great interest. Others might find it heavy going, unless broken up with a bit more dialogue. Worth considering, as indicated in an earlier post.<BR/><BR/>- I agree with an earlier commentator who suggested cutting down the strong language (even if such might be authentic). Readers who don't mind seeing such speech in print won't be bothered. Those that do are then less likely to be put off the book. You might as well try to make your catchment of readers as wide as possible.<BR/><BR/>Look forward to further instalments and hope the other book is coming along steadily as well.alanoreihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12013953165470026155noreply@blogger.com