Thursday, 8 May 2008
A Shout Out
Image - I have been contacted and informed by Denise Garfields psychiatrist in confidence that when Garfield looks at a photographic image or picture of me placed before her on a table in clinical trials, then due to a problem with the wiring and circuitry in her brain ( the professional psychiatric term for the medical condition is ' SHE IS A CRAZY BITCH !!! ' ) she actually sees a picture in her distorted brain of Herr Flick from the BBC comedy show Allo Allo. This explains her infantile obsession with using the word 'nazi' every three words on her blog. Nazi Delusional Syndrome is now a recognised psychiatric term with a new sub-set of the condition called 'Herr Flick-itis'.
I have checked my e mails this morning and as yet no more new e mails such as 'Revealed - Lee Barnes secret plan to use the Scouts to invade Poland' or 'Revealed - Lee Barnes admits he is 12 foot green lizard and he wants to eat your hamster'.
Oh well I guess the ejiots Garfield and Ebanks are busy doing what they usuy do when they arent e mailing each other and making their plans for secret e mail attacks which is probably torturing cats and indulging in self flaggelation ( Is Ebanks now a carpet muncher we wonder, though of course the image of Ebanks and Garfield munching on each others carpets is something that could strip enamel paint from a bath).
The good news is that one my fans on Lancaster Unity has set up a new blog about me.
Thats right, not content with Lancaster Unity having a 'Barnes Fixation' it now appears that the lancaster unity 'special people' are now even going to set up a blog to honour/hate me.
Jesus, these people need to get laid.
I am working on a new theory of ' The Left, Sexual Dysfunction and Projection '.
It is my theory that the reason why the Lefties are so obssessed with me is because ;
1) They are so ugly that they cannot have sex with living human beings even if they pay them (or even import them from the Far East is what most ugly blokes do these days) - take a look at Ketlan. That guy couldnt get laid in a morgue. He looks like Keith Flint from the Prodigy after he fell all the way down from the top of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, got hit by lightning at the bottom and then rabid rats gnawed at his face whilst he was unconscious.
Fuck me theres, ugly and then theres taking the fucking piss.
Ketlan, you are abusing the right to be called ugly.
He doesnt need a plastic surgeon, he needs fucking Balfour Beatty.
Just a quick question Ketlan - is that really your face or are you the worlds first 'Arse and Head Swop' transplant recipient ?
If they ever set up an 'Ugly Olympics' you could ugy for England - and win gold you ugly twat !
2) They are suffering from various sexual dysfunctions. Takes Garfield, here is lesbian with a 'Thatcher as leather clad dominatrix' obsession. You can just imagine her during the Thatcher era in her cellar indulging in endless onanism at the thought of Thatcher popping round for a cup of tea and chat about how to deal with the Falklands Crisis.
3) Both the lesbian left, the hetero'cant get laid left' and the cock jockeys all see me as some archetypal figure. The lesbian left are in fear of their own repressed sexual feelings for my rampant virility, the hetero lefties fear for their women as they know that the moment their women met me they would regard their lefty boyfriends with contempt and amdire my rampant bull like male sexuality whilst the cock jockeys all suffer from 'I hate Nazis / but dont they look just soooo sexy in those tight lederhosen in the old pre-WW2 Nazi propaganda films Complex' and therefore they project their repressed sexual deviancy and desires for ze nazis ( to be dominated and 'invaded') onto me.
I shudder to think of the thoughts in the septic tank like minds of these sick, sick people.
Anyway heres the details of the new blog about me ;
We love Lee Barnes (LLB Hons) blog said...
I've set up a temporary blog dedicated to Lee Barnes (LLB Hons):
You can post your favourite Lee Barnes moment, quote or faux pas.
This explain's the blog's purpose:
We invite all Lee Barnes (LLB Hons) enthusiasts to post their favourite Lee Barnes (LLB Hons) moments. Over the years, we've come to appreciate the idiosyncrasy that is Lee Barnes (LLB Hons). Indeed, Lee Barnes (LLB Hons) continually reciprocates our appreciation of him by allowing us to indulge, nay rejoice, in the outpourings of his poorly misunderstood and little studied mind. We salute you Lee Barnes (LLB Hons) for the hours of entertainment you have altruistically provided for us.
So, come share we us your favourite Lee Barnes (LLB Hons) moment at:
You know you wanna (especially you IrishTony).
12:13 AM, May 08, 2008
The day that these idiots get jobs or girlfriends / boyfriends or proffesional psychiatric help is the day my life will be a lot less fun.
They once said that 'Immitation was the most sincere form of flattery'.
In the era of the Internet you are nobody until somebody sets up a hate site to attack you.
Only once you have your own hate site can you be called a celebrity.
In the 80's it was having a stalker that made you a celebrity, but thats just sooooo passe now. I had my own stalker in the 80's (an ex-girlfriend) and though it was fun whilst it lasted in the end it just gets tedious having them sitting on the wall outside your house and staring through the front room window whilst you are watching The Proffesionals.
A cyber hate site though, thats something new and exciting.
Unfortunately I will not be posting on the site unlike the people that will be posting on it I have both a life and a sex life.