Andrew Gilligan Wins The Big Island Debate

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Andrew Gilligan, the London Editor of The Telegraph newspaper has tonight won The Big Debate on Gilligans Island.

Andrew Gilligan in The Big Debate had lined up against him a tough array of opponents in the debate entitled ' The BNP are all nasty'.

First of all was The Seagull whose stance in the debate was to defend free speech. Andrew tore his argument to pieces, especially after he flew off seeking a pilchard.

Also opposing Andrew Gilligan was The Crab, whose stance in the debate was to argue that all ethnic groups in a democracy have the right to organise and represent their interests in the multi-cultural and political process, including Indigenous British people.

Andrew Gilligan demolished every argument the crab was unable to articulate as the crab could not speak English ( or even speak as it was a crab ).


But his main opponent in The Big Debate on Gilligans Island was Lily, who once dated one of the stars of The Mighty Boosh TV show but whose relationship split after she was convicted of spousal abuse.

Lily was putting forward the proposition that it has been Liberalism which has created the current rise in support for Nationalism at the same time as Liberalism has itself become Fascistic in regards to the creation of the Surveillance Society, restrictions on free speech, illegal Oil Imperialism wars in Iraq, corporate fascism via the banking bailout and the outsourcing of torture.


Andrew Gilligan defeated her arguments simply because, though Lily is very pretty and has a mouth, she is fact a coconut and cannot talk.


Andrew Gilligan spoke to Andrew Gilligan after The Big Debate was finished and said to himself ' Yeah I was great wasnt I. Those guys didnt have a chance'.

Asked by himself whether he thought it might have been a good idea to actually invite human beings capable of speaking who are members of the BNP to participate in the debate, he replied to himself 'Are you trying to be fucking funny mate' then punched himself twice in the face and run off into the jungle bushes.

Its just another great day on Gilligans Island.







Image - Gilligans Island where the Big Debate was held.









Image - The Seagull, an opponent in the debate.





Image - The Crab, who also opposed Andrew Gilligan in the debate.









Image - Andrew Gilligan, The Winner.





Image - the judge of the debate. His gavel is attached to a piece of string controlled by Adrian Gilligan's hand.










Image - Lily, Andrew Gilligans main debate opponent. Though she is a looker, she likes to give her fella's a slap after she has had a few shandies, so best avoided unless you like geeza birds.