Monday, 18 May 2009

Charlie Brooker - The real Twitter Account





Image = Still bunged up. I have a compacted bowel like the M25 on a saturday afternoon. My other hero is Bela Lugosi, hence the ' oooh look I am a scary vampire' stare.



Hi window lickers,

Its charlie here, the real Rockabilly Rebel.

I have now set up my own proper Twitter account at ;

http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie

(or whatever the fuck it is, stupid techno shite fucking dashboards)

If you log on you can get regular updates about what I am doing during the day.























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38 comments:

Anonymous said...

Delighted to be the first to point out that yesterday you were saying that "Anyone that Twitters is a cunt".

Swineshead said...

Oh! Ha ha ha!

A parody! You are doing satire!
You're a witless shithouse!

You do realise CB will take this as the highest form of flattery?

Anonymous said...

LMFAO funny as fuck!

Migrant Worker said...

And just think: before yesterday hardly anyone had heard the phrase "Lee Barnes (LLB Hons)"... well, they certainly know about you now. Keep it up! (Hope the dole money is enough to keep your internet connection going for a while.)

Anonymous said...

LEE have a look at this and have a look at the little boys t shirt

I thought you might be able to use it :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

Anonymous said...

One of your ickle BNP buddies posted something about Charlie Brooker's fans whipping up 'a frenzy of hate'. Honestly, your blog is practically a dictionary definition of that term.

But please, keep going on (and on and on) about Charlie, its hilarious so far.

You cock.

xthemusic said...

"ANYONE WHO USES TWITTER IS A CUNT"

*creates Twitter account*

Glad to see you agree with us then.

Andrew said...

Just had a look at a few of your articles, I genuinely can't work out if you're actually a complete moron or you're doing this as some sort of joke. It's not very entertaining either way. Enjoy your 15 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Well if it keeps you from beating up Asians this is a good thing I suppose

Rev. Spooner said...

Oh Lee, ignore the haters. You just go right on proving to the world what a shining wit you truly are.

Andraste said...

The Charlie Brooker fascist slaves don't even know what the BNP stand for, all they know is that they have been told they must hate the BNP and away they go like the unthinking zombies they are. They wouldn't dare read the BNP website for they don't want their preconceived notions of the BNP challenged.

Andraste said...

A Cunt said: Well if it keeps you from beating up Asians this is a good thing I supposeOh yeah like all those Asians who get beaten up by BNP members... fucking get in the real world you sad deluded mothers cunt. Jesus you really believe all the lies don't you? You lot are just perfect tools for the establishment, so fucking easy to manipulate and control. This is what the establishment and media know you see, that idiots like you are so desperate to fit in, so desperate to get some sense of self-worth that you will completely disregard reality for the promise of belonging.

You lot wouldn't know the truth, because you are not interested in the truth, you are solely driven to fit in, to be part of some self-righteous mass. And as someone else wrote, when the BNP are in power, you lot will then suddenly start agreeing with the BNP, not that we want you to, but alas such is the way of the world that scum like you change your allegiance at the drop of a hat depending upon what is more popular.

You lot of Brookers bum-chums don't even know yourselves.

I Like Sport said...

I don't really like Charlie Brooker, but isn't this bloke getting a bit obsessive, and dare I say creepy?

Here's a suggestion: rather than waste valuable time sticking the boot into what you claim to despise, yet paradoxically seems your very reason for being, why not bang out a few paragraphs on things that you enjoy?

I think you'll find that you'll come across far less as a man in the midst of a worrying mental breakdown. You might even learn a few things about yourself!

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Got some Viagra. Need to get little Elvis functioning again, I bashed him so silly during the Lee Barnes debacle my balls are like dried prunes.

Oh yeah, rock on!"

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Had a dream last night. I was emporer Nero, and all you lot of Brooker lovers lined up before me, bent over, and I arse ploughed every one of your mother fuckers. Can you feel the love?"

Andraste said...

The twat I Like Sport said...

but isn't this bloke getting a bit obsessive, and dare I say creepy?Apparently hundreds of Brooker lemmings stampeding Lee Barnes' blog at the behest of their master is not in anyway obsessive or creepy! LOL, another classic piece of lunatic logic.

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Watched There's Something About Mary last night with Bryony (the producers daughter). Realised I will now use jizz to get a better look for my ducks arse quiff... any donations much appreciated."

Anonymous said...

more proof you're a hypocritical cunt.

"anyone who Twitters is a cunt" ?
welcome to the cunt club. would you like a metrosexual biscuit?

this is becoming a terrifying and entertaining mental breakdown.

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Please can one of you lemmings, I mean lovers, get one Lee Barnes' blog and mention spelling mistakes and call him a cunt please?"

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"I wish I looked more like David Duchovny, particularly when he was buff in the Red Shoe Diaries and got to pretend fuck all those fit birds. The Elvis thing isn't working out quite so well for me."

Anonymous said...

You're such a complete and utter racist saddo who thinks like a fucking dumbarse.

Barnbrook's Beige Suit said...

Hang on, just been reading a few posts back. On May 14th you wrote, "My ancestors are part Irish..."

Do you mean to tell us the BNP will let in any old dole-scrounging Mick these days? What part of "Indigenous British" do you not understand? *tsk* Standards are slipping.

Oh, and get a job.

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Viagra now kicking in. I sloped off to the ladies toilets in the BBC4 studios and took a shit, it stunk the place out, that really turned me on - I like the smell of my own shit, especially when its got a hint of rotten fruit - must have been those figs... are figs fruit?"

Andraste said...

The Brooker self-loathers haven't a clue what the BNP stand for, they just believe the gospel according to Brooker. They wouldn't dare read the BNP website as such a dramatic exposure to the truth would cause a schizoid embolism and their heads to explode.

The Truth... does not compute... must believe lies... must blindly hate the BNP... must not question... AHHHhhhh... the truth... does not compute... KABOOM...

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"In the BBC4 canteen, saw Dame Kiri Te Kanawa asked her if she ever seen my show, she said yes it's shite. Fucking well gutted. When will I get a break? When will people love me for the cuddly (not fat) rockabilly rebel I really am?"

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Guys, this Lee Barnes' thing is getting to me. Shall I take the piss out of him on my show or shall I "deny him the oxygen of publicity"?"

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Shit you guys, the BNP are getting 10,000 enquiries a day:

http://bnp.org.uk/2009/05/bnp-contact-centre-flooded-with-10000-enquiries-every-day/

Btw, I did not visit the BNP website, it's the truth, er I mean it's evil, someone dropped that link through my letterbox in a plain brown envelope."

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Bryony just called promised me a vigorous hand job when I get in tonight, she thinks I need it. She also sent me a txt with XX at the end, which was odd because she normally ends with XXX U - is this the work of Lee Barnes?"

Andraste said...

Twiiter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"Needed another shit, damn those figs. This time I used the disabled toilet. I laid a fucking great 3 coiler, and didn't bother to flush. HA HA... the rockabilly rebel strikes again... Rock On!"

pete said...

Well done Lee. I think you enjoy winding up the reds; Its is very easy after all as most are very stupid. So often they use the c word as their vocabulary is very limited.

Andraste said...

Twitter from Rockabilcharlie - http://twitter.com/Rockabilcharlie:

"This rockabilly rebel thinks that Andraste is a right prick"

Stephen said...

Jeeze, you can't stop can you. I'm so angry i don't think i've sworn at you once.

You guys are apeing the current stratagy of the extreme right in the US.
You hide you're extremist views by attacking the "liberal facist marxist elites". It unites those who have the misfortune to listen to you against a percieved "army" of brainwashed idiots to the extent they don't discuss what you actually believe, only how much they hate us ignorant fools. We blinkered idiots who disagree with pretty much everything you stand for.

The really funny thing is you throw labels at those you oppose that would be better applied to yourself. Self-loathing much?

You and your followers, if you truely believe in what you say, are an exercise in cognative dissonance.

Andraste said...

These idiots who try and put forward their completely nonsense views, such as Stephen...

For all you self-loathers out there:

http://galliawatch.blogspot.com/2009/03/ethnomasochism.html

Stephen said...

I think you mean "nonsense views, such as this entire blog, Stephen..."

Basically what i am saying is that you are being united by a message of hate. You may well believe the toned down rhetoric of this BNP spokesman and others like him. If you scratch beneath the wafer thin surface though, all you find is intolerance and hatred dressed up as national pride.

For all you self loathers out there:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbAKUdEWzq8&feature=PlayList&p=9FEAD2DF21B606B5&index=0

Andraste said...

Message of hate? LOL. Another line fed to another brainwashed unthinking idiot by the establishment. If you check out the abuse leveled against the BNP I think you will see quite clearly who the haters are.

You are a self-loather, pure and simple. You blindly follow all the other lemmings into oblivion without question.

The fact that you don't even know what the BNP stands for, just repeat the slogans you are supposed to says it all. You can't question your programming, you are controlled and can't face up to it. If you could challenge your brainwashing you would understand what the BNP actually stands for, instead you simply revert to type and hurl your blind insults.

Stephen said...

BNP stands for British National Party. You want me to believe it stands for keeping the pound, keeping British jobs British, an end to mass immigration & an end to racism against the white race.

To pick just one example from the link i posted. The Leeds BNP party youth leader believes that we should never have a black prime minister. That is a racist view.

You can tell me forever that i've been programmed to believe this, but my belief is that you judge people against what they say and what they do. Not by who they are.

Anonymous said...

Andraste, you've got it in your head that everybody who isn't a racist twonk is as reactionary as you, blindly getting angry at the BNP without thinking about it.

Thing is, the BNP is so transparent that it really does only take mere SECONDS to decide what a bunch of hate-mongering loons you are.

You're only English because your parents fucked here. Is that really something to be proud of? (cheers Bill Hicks).

Anonymous said...

'What sort of sad fucks links to the Twitter of anyone, ever, anywhere, any time for any reason.'

'I hate anyone with a fucking facebook account, who twitters, who has a myspace account, who spends time posting up pictures of their sad lives and their ugly mugs on the internet - if you have one of those techno shite accounts then you are sad fucking, no life, metrosexual twat.'

and yet you appear to have enough time to make a new twitter account with 102 updates in under a day.