Friday, 2 October 2009

George Monbiot Causes CRA Death Threats Sent To Me

Image - the leader of the CRA. " Come and have a go if your shell is hard enough ". Beware the Mollusc Mafia.

I have just had this threat posted on my blog ;

For the attention of George Moonbat and Barnes the Bastard.

From - The CRA (Crayfish Revolutionary Army)

02nd October 2009.

Statement begins ;

Today the CRA have added both George Moonbat and Barnes the Bastard to our 'Swarm, Pinch and Bruise On Sight' list.

All crayfish in the United Kingdom are hereby ordered to declare Holy War against Moonbat and Barnes until they are covered in nasty welts, blood blisters and slight grazing.

The recent images of Moonbat in his fascist rag, The Guardian, undertaking his racist, speciest, eco-xenophobic genocidal cleansing of a stream were amongst the most sickening images ever seen by North American crayfish kind.

The photograph on Barnes's blog of Moonbat holding one crayfish which was taken from the Guardian article Moonbat wrote, was my brother Eric.

As a result of Moonbats murderous rampage I have watched my family be eradicated from the stream where I live and now only have 354,024 brothers and sisters left in the ponds and streams of Wales.

This war against crayfish is a crime against our crayfish rights.

We are not immigrants as Moonbat says we are, we were spawned here and as such we demand an end to the tyranny of Eco-Fascism.

We stand alongside our oppressed Grey Squirrel and Parakeet comrades in this revolutionary struggle against the evil murderer Moonbat and his apologist Barnes.

We regard the Guardian as the rag which acts as the apologist for these crimes, therefore Alan - 'Plonkety, Plonk the Piano Man Plonker ' Rusbridger of the Guardian as an enemy of the swarm.

Today we have sent suicide squads of well armed crayfish up into the toilet of Moonbat and they intend to nip him quite hard on his nuts when he next takes a dump.

Barnes has been sent a suicide squad who are awaiting him in his local swimming pool and they have been ordered to nip on sight.

The CRA will not stop until this war against our species is over.

Crayfish of the World Unite, you have nothing to lose but your claws !

Smash the cooking pots of the capitalist elite !

Free our lobster brothers from the tables of the bourgeoise scum !

King Prawns rise up and free yourself from the red tide of Masala sauce !

(Please note that we are not linked to the CRF (crayfish revolutionary front), the RCRA (real crayfish revolutionary army), the CIA (crayfish international army) or the CRABS (crayfish revolutionary army brigade of scotland)- they are all just bastards and tools of the reactionary capitalist elite.

Statement Ends.

As a result of this threat I have now started wearing shorts instead of speedos to the pool.

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Andraste said...

The UAEXF (United Against Eco-Xeno Fascism) releases the following statement.

We stand by our brothers, sisters and transgender crayfish comrades of all sub-species currently suffering persecution in the waters of the UK. Lee "The Bastard" Barnes and George "Mad as a" Moonbat are now deemed legitimate targets in our struggle against eco-xeno fascism - rest assured these Nazis will get what is coming to them. A batallion of Grey Squirrels have already been deployed to Moonbat's garden where they will chew up his prized apple tree, as for "The Bastard" Barnes he will be getting a visit from our boys, the Morrocan Spiny-Tailed Lizard crew. This is just the beginning in our struggle to reclaim the wilderness from the eco-xeno fascists - "Nazi scum off our countryside".

Defender of Liberty said...

Oh shit mate.

I am tooling up with garlic and chilli sauce - thats the only thing a crayfish is scared off.

This is getting out of hand.

Moonbat - what have you done !!

Sandhurst. said...

Having set and baited cylinder
Traps for these filthy red invaders,
I found them offensive to the palate.
Nastier than a Tench I once
Projectile vomit!
You had to be there.
Maybe they need some garlic and
Pepper as described by D.O.L

Sandhurst. said...

To add, Andraste states that having
Been ”spawned here”, he's naturalised.
As my dear late father 'Bomber' Sandhurst
would oft' repeat,
”If a cat gives birth to her litter in a
kipper~box, the young will never
Be kippers...will they?”
A wise word from the old boy.