Tuesday 17 November 2009

NME Confirms Modern Bands Are Total Shit

Below is the list of the top 50 albums of the decade by the NME.

This confirms that ;

1) The NME is run by total wankers who know about as much about music as I know about the artificial insemination techniques of mongolian yak herders re their yaks suffering with erectile dysfunction

2)The NME only promotes those bands in its lists who are willing to attend and give an interview to NME journalists eg Pete Doherty a man so bereft of musical talent that the only way his guitar would make a pleasing noise in his presence is if someone smashed it over the idiots head

3) The NME isnt even fit for toilet paper. I know as I have tried. It leaves the ink off of it smeared on your buttocks.

4) Modern music truly is, in the main, shit. I thought the era of fucking idiot boy bands was over, but oh no along comes X factor and we are back in the era of pete fucking waterman again with shit boy bands like JLS. Simon Cowell needs to be given a ticket to ride on Richard Bransons spaceship and then shot into space, so that he can terrorise any lurking extraterrestrial threats beyond our solar system.

I cant be arsed to do a top 50 albums of the decade but here are my top ten albums of the decade and then below it the NME list.

My List ;

1) System of a Down - Toxicity

2)Guns and Roses - Chinese Democracy

3) My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade

4) Foo Fighters - Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace

5) Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight

6) Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around

7) British Sea Power - Do You Like Rock Music

8) Robert Plant Alison Krauss - Raising Sand

9) Manic Street Preachers - Journal for Plague Lovers

10) Manic Street Preachers - Know Your Enemy

NME Wankers top 50 albums of the decade:

1. The Strokes – Is This It

2. The Libertines – Up The Bracket

3. Primal Scream – xtrmntr

4. Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Fever To Tell

6. PJ Harvey – Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea

7. Arcade Fire – Funeral

8. Interpol – Turn On The Bright Lights

9. The Streets – Original Pirate Material

10. Radiohead – In Rainbows

11. At The Drive In – Relationship Of Command

12. LCD Soundsystem – The Sound Of Silver

13. The Shins – Wincing The Night Away

14. Radiohead – Kid A

15. Queens Of The Stone Age – Songs For The Deaf

16. The Streets – A Grand Don't Come For Free

17. Sufjan Stevens – Illinoise

18. The White Stripes – Elephant

19. The White Stripes – White Blood Cells

20. Blur – Think Tank

21. The Coral – The Coral

22. Jay-Z – The Blueprint

23. Klaxons – Myths Of The Near Future

24. The Libertines – The Libertines

25. Rapture – Echoes

26. Dizzee Rascal – Boy in Da Corner

27. Amy Winehouse – Back To Black

28. Johnny Cash – Man Comes Around

29. Super Furry Animals – Rings Around The World

30. Elbow – Asleep In The Back

31. Bright Eyes – I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

32. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Show Your Bones

33. Arcade Fire – Neon Bible

34. Grandaddy – The Sophtware Slump

35. Babyshambles – Down In Albion

36. Spirtualized – Let it Come Down

37. The Knife – Silent Shout

38. Bloc Party – Silent Alarm

39. Crystal Castles – Crystal Castles

40. Ryan Adams – Gold

41. Wild Beasts – Two Dancers

42. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend

43. Wilco – Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

44. Outkast – Loveboxxx/The Love Below

45. Avalanches – Since I Left You

46. Delgados – The Great Eastern

47. Brendan Benson – Lapalco

48. Walkmen – Bows and Arrows

49. Muse – Absolution

50. MIA – Arular.

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Andraste said...

Total shite. This list reads like the albums one would find on iPod the coolest student on campus; total middle-class wank.

Anonymous said...

Seen system of a down 3 times, well worth a look if you get the chance. Scars on Broadway an offshoot of SOAD are worth checking out the debut album is top notch.