Monday 1 June 2009

Daniel Hannan - Oleaginous Slaphead Twerp

Image - Daniel Hannan, The man with a penis for a head.

I hate Daniel Hannan.

He is one of the smug, oleaginous, slap head twerps you had to sit next to at university.

You know the type, all 'Yes sir I know the answer sir, sir would you like an apple sir, sir would you like me to lick your arse sir' types with their hand always up in the air ready to answer the next bloody question before its even been asked.

Bloody little creep.

Since Daniel managed to string about thirty words together in the European Parliament attacking Gordon Brown (hardly the most taxing thing to do ) a few weeks ago he now thinks he is a hero.

He has the sort of greasy smile and face that you want to slap.

No wonder the slimy little creep works for the Torygraph.

Daniel, being the big brave politician he is, likes to have a pop at the BNP every few days.

I reckon he and Peter Hitchens must be playing ' BNP Soggy Biscuit'.

Usually Hitchens wins, but now it appears that Hannan is having a last desperate fondle and fumble trying to knock one out before the elections on Thursday.

I wonder if Hitchens will have another fumble about the BNP before Thursday as well and knock one out in his column ?

I have decided to organise an appeal for the slaphead.

Its called 'Buy Daniel Hannan A Syrup Appeal'.

At the moment his head looks like a circumcised cock, so getting up in the morning must be a bit of a shock.

So therefore I have decided to have a whip round to try and buy him a new wig.

I reckon we should go for an Afro Wig like Shaft or one of those bad boy black pimps from the 1970's cop shows.

Then Hannan can stride into the EU parliament with his new bad ass wig on and not look like a talking knob for a change.

Someone might actually take the dickhead seriously then.

If you have any suggestions about what wig we should get Daniel then let me know.

If anyone has any photoshop skills, and can be arsed, then do a picture of Daniel in an afro wig and I will post it on this blog.

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Anonymous said...

Aww...c'mon - I'm a freaking slaphead too - women love it (maybe it reflects that which is below!)...Bald is Beautiful Lee - get your onw hairy arse shaved sir!!! Seriously - leave off the baldies Lee we have more discrimination than any other "ethnic" group!!! Liberation for Clean Heads!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ear...I went to uni, did a degree in Eng Lit (New Speak) and I ain't got a clue wot oleaginous means? And me airs dropping out!

Defender of Liberty said...

Okay okay I am sorry.

If you are macho then bald is cool, but if you are lip trembling woose like Hannan then you just look like a knob.

Oleaginous = slimy, greasy, oily, unctuous.

LL.B. (Hons) said...

"He is one of the smug, oleaginous, slap head twerps you had to sit next to at university. You know the type..."

Are you quite sure you're aware of the BNP's core demographic, Lee?

Defender of Liberty said...

I think I know more about the BNPs core demographic than you - all you know and believe is what you are told you media drone.

Anonymous said...

Hey the media drone isn't being prejudicial is he/she/it?