And so it began.
Charlie Brooker sent forth the twitter message to his loyal army, The Window Lickers, and like some rather deranged army of sexually ambiguous ants they swarmethed over the blog of Lee Barnes.
The word says it all really doesnt it.
Twitter - twit, twat etc etc
But come on lets be honest what does it say about the person that likes using the twitter on his phone ( the twitoris ? ) and who does the twitting ( The twittee ? ) and the recipient of the Twitter message ( The Twit ? ).
IT SAYS YOUR A FUCKING KNOBHEAD THATS WHAT.
I hate anyone with a fucking facebook account, who twitters, who has a myspace account, who spends time posting up pictures of their sad lives and their ugly mugs on the internet - if you have one of those techno shite accounts then you are sad fucking, no life, metrosexual twat.
Anyone who has the time to spend posting up pictures of them being sick, drinking, gurning into a camera, or what-the fuck-ever on any techno shite site needs to get out and have a real life - you sad internet nerds.
Charlies Law states that there is a direct relationship between the amount of techno shite you use and how much of a saddo you are.
The more you twit, the more you are a twat.
How egotistical do you have to be to want to set up your own twitter account anyway.
Like anyone is interested in what YOU are doing.
As for charlie - what makes you think he has a life worth following on your mobile phone anyway.
People like you used to be called stalkers at one time.
Now you crave the little messages that pop up your phone from your hero charlie like slaves once enjoyed getting a good whipping of off their masser.
Like how interesting can it be working at The Guardian anyway for fucks sake.
HERES A DAY IN CHARLIES LIFE ;
Hi, its me. I am at work in the guardian office. Writing an interesting article about my youth in a village. I had a dog. He got run over by a tractor. I cried. please love me.
Hi, had a mung bean salad in the Guardian canteen. very tasty. Orange juice had little bits in it. I dont like that.
Hi, I am in an office meeting. really important. Is black coffee racist ? We dont know but from now on I am going to call it ' coffee with a tone that is not racist in any way'. Right on. Fuck me we do some important shit here in The Guardian.
Hi, Met Gordon Brown last night. What a cunt. Nuff said.
Hi, does anyone have a cure for gential warts ? My knob is as red as a cardinals robe.
Hi, I have updated my facebook account with some really important shit. Its a picture of me trying on my new Armani trousers ethically produced in a lesbian collective in Guam. Paid ten grand for them. fucking bargain.
Hi, I had a wank last night. Watched Nell with Jodie Foster. Dat film is da dope !
Hi, I have just eaten a ham sandwich. Dont tell the BOSS ! ho ho
Hi, I am the Guradian office party. We are playing 'Pass the ethical parcel in a non-confrontational way'. I won ! Hoorah. It was an organic carrot. Very tasty yum, yum.
FUCK OFF AND DIE CHARLIE BROOKER.
ANYONE THAT TWITTERS IS A CUNT.
ANYONE THAT RECIEVES A TWITTER IS A CUNT.